I don't recall, where I got that quote from, but I find it amusing. In a sense it satirizes my personal philosophy on the subject and I enjoy the playful honesty contained therein. What is love? What is the concept of a Soulmate? Do these things really exists?  Anyways awhile back, on this internet dating site, lol I won't admit which one, *match.com* cough cough ahem.., I had this rather unsuccessful internet Dating Profile.. Yes I blame it all on the profile. In hindsight it was kinda lame, it said things like "Looking for the One, my Lobster, my Soul-Mate! Holler," and the reality is, I don't even believe in the Notion that we have SOULMATES.. We don't have Soulmates, we have Love-Teams but no Soul-Mates. I got a lot more hits with my tag saying "Not looking for a soulmate just someone to bang and watch movies," Why? Isn't that an interesting proposition? Indeed why? lol probably because they thought it would be funny, and the fact that I magically doubled my income (my profile at least) probably helped.. Crap did I just admit to being on match.com? Well, I chalk it all to the travails of youth.

According to Greak Mythology by way of Aristophanes' dialogue in Plato's symposium oddly enough about Amour, love.ect., mankind was made with 4 arms, 4 legs, 2 heads, 2 torsos and one Soul. Man was a freak of nature. Three types of humans existed, the Male, the Female and the dainty Androgynous. Mankind's speed and power was unmatched in the mortal realm and this caused man's pride to swell, even daring to challenge the Gods. The King of the Gods feared man's power and wished to chastise mankind for their dangerous pride. Zeus with the aid of Apollo split man apart, splitting each and everyone in half while Apollo healed them with his powers. Where there was once two heads, four arms, four legs,  there now only existed one head and one pair of arms and legs. The newly created beings wept at their misfortune and constantly sought out their other half trying vainly to rejoin themselves.  In essence our one soul was split into two. So our significant half, if you think about is really just us; and we are condemned to wander this world forever in search of our missing half. So if you think you're dating your soulmate you're really just having sex with yourself... Gross huh? I severely disagree with this Greek concept of our soulmates our twin flames, in fact I think its BS, and very un-Christianlike if you ask me since it involves things like Pre-Destiny and Karma. Our psyches are unique, complete in its own accord, whether or not we meet another soul. Now Eros or love can only exists in our psyches or souls but we are in fact unique and there is no other us. This whole, "You complete me" Jerry Maguire pyschobable is just pillow-talk.. Something Tom Cruise says to Katie Holmes because he can't come up with his own lines. You've lost that lovin feeling!! He sang to Katie by the way on their wedding what a douche! And like the brainwashed tart that she is poor Katie just stood there and smiled like a good brainwashed girl that she is. Tom is the crazy loon who thinks that Katie is his soulmate, nuttie Xeno worshipping Scientologist. What would Dawson think, Katie? What would Dawson think??

So if there is no such thing as a Soulmate and pre-destiny, what do we have left? Obviously someone to bang and watch movies with!! No of course not, but in the jest a profound truth is revealed. Putting this Soulmate ideal into our heads, puts needless pressure I think. At first, I must admit the very philosophical realization of this fact, caused me to recoil and made me rethink everything I ever thought about the concept of Love. I always thought it was this overwhelming tsunami that leaves you bereft of reason and foundering in a sea of pain and bliss, at least that's how it was for me. But eventually when these tides subside, what are you left with? Someone to bang and watch movies with!!

The other night, I was thinking about this concept in my head, and I was in a yahoo chatroom having some fun with the sexpats trolling for ugly mountain girls and all the dorks singing the chorus to Narda over and over again. I said "I'm not really looking for a soulmate just someone to bang and watch movies with," this actually received several enthusiastic replies..

A girl came on, or at least I hoped it was a girl, you never know rofl.. she says "So looking for some bang" or some such.. To which I replied "Sure, but do you also watch movies?" She was taken aback by my reply, I don't know why, I was very specific about what I was looking for.  I mean I'm asking for the whole pie here, not just half.. she says "yeah X movies" I was like "damn I was talking about Lord of the Rings, The Lion King or something rofl.." girls, their minds are in the gutter.

Anyways I stated I was just joking around, and actually had a funny conversation with her. Man you know girls like to drill you with poignant questions. Like How many girls have you slept with? I don't understand why they ask, they don't really want to know the answer. To little and your a wuss, too much and you are a Dog. Instead of scrambling for a safe number in your head like "3", I highly recommend 3, not too much not too little! But even better is just to grin and say "No, baby, I'm a virgin, I don't know anything about that," haha, that's the best answer you can give trust in Davy. And more poignant questions "how many positions do you know?" only the one that's religiously sanctioned by the clergy "Reverse CowGirl"..

And girls, man they're devious! My Greek Model Soulmate would never be that devious! All the more reason to disbelieve in the notion. In fact Girls are Twice as good looking as us, and also twice as smart, cunning like little Foxes they are, if you let them they will run circles around your head! They like to interogate you like they are the FBI!! Our only defense is to joke around! I should change my heading to "Not really looking for my soulmate; just someone to interogate me like I'm a prisoner in GITMO, to bang and watch movies with,"

In closing, you know the Great Jerry Rice, sustained his career for so long because he believed in attaining that perfect and flawless game, it gave him the inner strength that resolve and drive to continue. That's what I'm shooting for, looking for that perfect Movie and the flawless person to watch it with! Forget about all that bang stuff, I'm a freaking Virgin, I just found out six weeks ago that Babies don't really come from the Magical Stork.